I'M NOT FAMOUS ENOUGH FOR THIS (THOUGHTS ABOUT PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY)...by Bon Von Wheelie



Yesterday I was killing time on the internet looking at googled photos (which apparently included purple travel cases). That was probably my first mistake. Kahuna won’t even have a computer in his house. He calls it the “argument machine”. Point taken. I came across a crappy photo of myself that I’d never seen before. My second mistake was to open the link. I was shocked to find this rather nasty post on one of those random “humor” websites, PoopTeen.com.



As we say in our band when we read a bad review, “Hard to get happy after that one.

The comedian/owner/creator of PoopTeen is supposedly anonymous but it didn’t take much effort to find out who is behind it: Somebody named Adam Forslund. He’s from Seattle by way of Missoula, Montana. I don’t know him. I’ve never met him. I’ve never even heard of him. That didn’t seem to matter.

Apparently, Adam Forslund is trying to make it as a professional photographer as his more official website and on-line resume would indicate.



Yes, I understand the hilarious PoopTeen website is so popular it took me six years to see this post. Obviously nobody ever looks at it (well, until I mentioned it on facebook).



Still, I couldn’t help but feel that this was creepy. It’s a personal attack from a stranger. He’s targeting me. It’s my old ugly mug this guy is taking issue with. Well, that and my horrible drumming. Hey, here’s a simple solution: If it bothers you, don’t come see us. And I could understand the sentiment if this was posted by one of my pay-to-play buddies. That would make sense. This doesn’t.

BUT HERE'S MY POINT...
YOU CALL THIS PROFESSIONAL?

I never asked this guy to take my picture. I never ask anybody to take my picture. But Adam Forslund took it upon himself to photograph me so he could make fun of me on his comedy website. I know comparing me to a 105 year old Native American woman while he’s ridiculing my aging washed-up rock band is high comedy to him, but to me...well, not so much. This reminds me of the time I got bit by a dog and the owner told me to ignore it because “he’s never tried to bite me.” It’s easy to dismiss when it isn’t you that got bit.

Of course my main question is, why would someone who’s trying to have a professional photography career resort to this? He takes band photos so later he can ridicule the musicians he photographs? I got to hand it to this guy, that is truly a unique promotional angle. In all my years I’ve never seen anyone use this gimmick. “Hey musicians! Get your photos taken by Adam Forslund and if you are lucky you’ll end up as a joke in PoopTeen!” I appreciate good photographers, maybe more now than ever. Over the years we’ve gotten to work with and personally know talented people who have gone on to great success. After giving it some thought, I can say without reservation that there is not one of them who would resort to something as unprofessional as this. Not one. They take their craft seriously and when they point their camera at somebody, it isn’t to post as a joke on their comedy website. Adam Forslund represents a different type of photographer than the professionals I’ve come to know and respect.

I also realize that if you are a performer you should expect mean cheap-shots like this. I just thought you were supposed to be rich and famous first. I'm neither. I think I got the shitty end of the stick on this one.