The
only chick in the band is Bon
Von Wheelie. On stage she proudly pounds out the big beat.
Bon might not be the fanciest drummer you've ever seen but we dare you to say
she isn't the steadiest. When she puts on her wool hat - it's dance time. Bon
is the one responsible for making record covers and making the rest of the band
practice. She has a giant collection of old clothes, old jewelry and old men.
Collecting Catholic religious artifacts is her latest passion. If you liked
(or disliked) your free prize this evening, it is due to Bon. She is the official
GT giveaway acquisitions director. Miss Von Wheelie is also the force behind
the magazine Wig Out. It's schedule depends solely on her mood swings. Bon has
a weakness for Scopitones, rhythm 'n' blues, and especially Frank Sinatra. She
firmly believes that if she were a bit older she could have hung out with the
Rat Pack too, just like Shirley MacLaine. Bon spends her off-time from the high-pressure
rock biz watching Walker Texas Ranger. If you want to see her go ballistic on
your ass just let her catch you chopping down a fir tree. It won't be pretty.
Bon's plan for the future includes making chili for K.P. Kendall who will be
manning the gun turrets during the neighborhood takeover. She actually saw Jimi
Hendrix in concert.
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February 2, 2002 - I was looking at the Valentine display over
at the Target store today. Every year I eagerly await finding out who will be
famous enough to have their own boxes of valentines. Extreme sports (or X-treme
I guess is the more proper term) valentines seem to be popular this year. Nothing
says "Love" like showing a guy right in the middle of almost pulling
some trick that's going to send him straight to the hospital. And the thing
is, they are just some generic bmx, snowboard and skater guys. If it was Dave
Mirra, or Ryan Nyquist, or Tony Hawk, or Bob Burnquist...(are you impressed
I know this stuff? I've got a 10 year old nephew keeping me up to date on all
the heavy hitters in the X-games world), then they'd be cooler for the kids.
I noticed Brittney Spears and Back Street Boy valentines are making an appearance
again this year. Boring!!! The new line I really enjoyed was Destiny's Child.
Super sexy glamour shots of the group with inscriptions of "Be Mine?"
etc. I can imagine happy school kids stuffing these into those handmade Valentine
packets hanging off the side of each desk. Wow! Happy Valentine's Day, sweet
thang!
Bon's Blab for June, 2001
I hope everyone has been listening to one of
my favorite groups, Los Shakers. Many people pass them off as merely
the Beatles of Uraguay but those people are uninformed. Oh sure, they have their
similarities but there's more to them than just Beatle rip-offs. Los Shakers
rock hard and their quirky Latin influenced harmonies are like no other. From
the early stuff like the amazing "Break It All" and "Never Never"
to the later awesome psych period of "The Shape of a Rainbow" Los
Shakers material still stands up solidly today. Even their "Yellow Submarine"
(they try to recreate the sound effects EXACTLY) is hilarious.
These guys featured the daring brother combo
of Oswaldo and Hugo Fataruso. Along with amegos Caio and Pelin they took South
America by storm during the 60s. It's still possible to obtain Shakers records
if you want to shell out some major cash. However, we are now so lucky to be
able to listen to this stuff by way of the Los Shakers "Por Favor"
CD on the Ace label. Do yourself a favor and check out Los Shakers. I'm heading
up the new fan club.
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Really old stuff, there isn't even a WCW anymore...
MY THOUGHTS ON WRESTLING by
Bon
Hi all you wrestling fans. My boyfriend
Ed and I have been watching a lot of wrestling shows during the
last year or so. He was a wrestling fan as a kid and watched Stampede
Wrestling on Canadian TV. That was real wrestling when the Hart
family from Calgary ran things before the McMahons took over.
I remember guys like the Grappler from Portland wrestling days.
Girl Trouble used to go every Saturday to Frank Jerasitis'
apartment and stay up all night watching GLOW (Glorious Ladies
of Wrestling) and POWW (Powerful Women of Wrestling). Ed says
we are wimpy wrestling fans. I've decided to use this space (because
let's face it, nobody is really reading THIS far into our web
page) to vent my feelings about some of the current wrestlers.
I know my spelling of these names are atrocious but you get the
general idea. (ATTENTION BUSH AND GORE:
Stop counting those votes over and over and settle this like real
men. Tag team match for the presidency: Bush and the Rock against
Gore and Rikishi.)
THE ROCK (WWF)- I knew he was going to be big before he started
getting good matches. I always thought he looked like Matt Wright
from Gas Huffer. We always called him that Matt Wright guy. That
eyebrow thing is a great trademark and he's the best talker in
wrestling. Ed says he's a crummy wrestler just because he doesn't
have any real holds. I say how about that "people's elbow"
thing? That's a fabulous move. You can be the greatest wrestler
in the world but if you can't talk the talk you might as well
get a job at Burger King. Chris Benoit is a good example: Ed says
he's a fantastic wrestler, I say he has no personality. Anyway
I think The Rock should be on top. He's got it all. I just hope
he doesn't get over-exposed.
RIKISHI (WWF) - Here's the next guy I expected to be a star.
I am a sucker for anybody that can dance like that. He's got all
the right moves especially smashing his butt over peoples' heads.
It's even twice as good if he's performing his signature move
on one of those lame "Supermodel Wrestlers". I'm glad
he's distancing himself from the dismal "Too Cool".
He needs better partners. But recently I absolutely HATED the
"I ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin" for the Rock bit.
I hope they aren't going to make him pathetic like they did to
Big Show and Mark Henry. I noticed lately he's NOT DANCING as
much. Don't lose that you idiots!
CHYNA (WWF) - As far as I'm concerned Chyna is one of the only
REAL women wrestlers on WWF. I know there are a few coming up
who are more qualified but for the most part they just stand around
in sexy outfits to get the 16 year olds more revved up than they
already are. I liked Chyna when she was more mannish looking in
Degeneration X. That was a really great combination with her,
Triple H and Shawn Michaels. What a trio! Then she got plastic
surgery to look more girly (and actually she looks way better)
about the same time Degeneration X fell to shit. The final straw
for me was looking at that obnoxious X-Pac and that stupid looking
headband that's so far down over his eyes he can hardly see. Why
doesn't somebody do us all a big favor and pull it completely
down over his face, twirl him around a couple of times and kick
him out of the WWF. Anyway back to Chyna. I liked Mark Henry okay
(and where's he these days?) but I didn't like the scenario with
Chyna and Mark Henry. I also hated Chyna and The Kat idea. That
whole dominatrix crap is just too standard and boring for her.
I never did like Eddie Guererro on WCW very well but together
with Chyna I think it works. I'm liking him way better, even though
now they are trying to make him look unfaithful to Chyna. I sure
hope she doesn't stay with Mr. Ass (hole?). God I can't stand
that guy. And why are the guys always the top bill and then it
says "with Chyna". Hasn't she proved that she can stand
alone by now? I've seen Chyna on talk shows and she seems like
a really cool person even if she is a Republican. She eats a lot
of red meat.
FABULOUS MOOLAH (WWF) - Now there is a REAL wrestler. I was
so happy to see her and Mae Young back. Unfortunately I haven't
seen either one in the last year so that doesn't look promising.
Just watching those two really old gals being flung around was
mind boggling. How many people that age can even get into the
ring let alone wrestle? That's what I want to be doing when I'm
that age. But again the scenario turned pretty stupid with them.
The double dating with Mark Henry was kind of funny but the whole
pregnancy bit...who was the dork that came up with that idea?
Probably Vince McMahon.
LA PARKA (WCW) - Both Ed and I were huge fans of the Mexican
wrestler, La Parka. He had the great black and white mask look
and he ALWAYS made us laugh with his special "La Parka"
dance and playing air guitar with the folding chair. As far as
we were concerned WCW just didn't know how to market him. Why
didn't they pump up this special dance he did and get the fans
to do it too when he was in the ring? He got a little heavier
so they gave him a new costume. It had big skulls on the shoulders
that he couldn't keep straight. Actually that was pretty hilarious
but not very convenient for wrestling. Ed and I think that La
Parka couldn't speak English very well. He never talked. Then
later they had him move his head and they would dub somebody with
a deep rich English/Shakespearian speaking voice for his. It just
looked ridiculous! I think what they should have done is let him
speak only Spanish in his regular voice and put subtitles on the
screen. He could have been big but now we don't see him anymore.
What a waste of wrestler.
HUVATUD GUERRERO (WCW) - Is this guy cute or what?! If they
gave some thought to it he could be a total teenage heart throb.
He's a good wrestler. Here's another talent that will probably
be wasted with the WCW. Ed and I tend to like the Mexican wrestlers
because they are always more spectacular. Flying off the turnbuckles
or through the ropes looks totally cool. Ray Mysteriouso is good
too but not as easy on the eyes as Huvatud, and what is the deal
with the little devil horns? Get rid of that bit QUICK!
NORMAN SMILEY (WCW) - Ed was the one that first hipped me to
Norman Smiley. He is an excellent wrestler (oh, yeah they actually
do a little wrestling on these shows!). He's a great talker, a
good actor and has fantastic comedic timing. Of course as usual
with the WCW he's not seen as much and is another talent wasted.
TAJERI (ECW) - Tajeri puts on an excellent show. He's got great
flying stunts and the goofiest looking hold in wrestling (the
one where he tangles the opponent up in the ropes). Any wrestler
that can spit green mouthwash (that's what it looks like!) is
AOK with me.
BIG SHOW (WWF) - What happened to him? They tried every scenario
they could think up on him and nothing seemed to fit. He was a
bad guy for a while and he was a pathetic good guy with all the
other wrestlers mentally abusing him. Then they decided he would
dress up and do imitations of all the other wrestlers. I kind
of liked that one but I guess no one else did because that didn't
last either.
TOO COOL (WWF) - I don't care if you are Jerry Lawler's kid
(and by the way can Jerry Lawler's voice get any higher and squeakier?
Pretty soon only dogs will be able to hear your commentary) you
stink. I only liked you when you were riding on the popularity
of Rikishi and now that he's on his own you both need to sit down.
Yuck!
MICK FOLEY (WWF): I'm glad they are using him in some capacity
because he was great. I wasn't too crazy about the Dude Love character,
but Mankind was awesome. Mr. Socko was a stroke of genius especially
when he was putting it in Vince McMahon's face. I thought the
Rock and Sock connection was a good bit too.
THE McMAHONS (WWF): During the World Series I didn't notice
the owners of the Mets and Yankees suiting up to join in the game.
I've never seen any football team owners putting on the pads to
slam around with their 300 pound linebackers. Why then does this
McMahon family feel they should be wrestling with their athletes?
Do they think we REALLY want to see them? I can't stand the entire
bunch. The mom is probably the least unlikable just because she
doesn't show up very much and she never tries to wrestle. Luckily
we haven't had to watch the pathetic overacting Vince lately.
He's spared us that. But when are we going to get a rest from
that wretched Stephanie? I can just see her throwing a little
hissy fit and stomping her feet at WWF Headquarters "But
Daddy, I want to wrestle!". "Okay pumpkin, Daddy will
get you anything you want!" I say: Hey Vince, get her a car,
a condo, a date with Edge and Christian but please don't force
us to look at her anymore will you? Ed's with me on this one.
He says these hacks are taking way too much valuable time away
from real wrestlers who deserve to be seen on TV. I'd like to
be around the locker room when the McMahon's aren't and see what
the wrestlers really think of the McMahon's wrestling.
Have you heard enough of my opinions on wrestling? I thought
so.
ED wants to know whatever happened to The Cobra from Stampede
Wrestling?
Return to GT Who's Who page.